Posts
THE DAIRY QUEEN LETTER
Happy Holidays,
I know business must be down with the cold and all. But I happen to enjoy DQ more when it’s 32 degrees Fahrenheit or below. My ancestors come from the Caucus Mountains, maybe that is why. Truth be told, I stop at all and any Dairy Queen whenever I can.
Working as an assistant to a Adult Production company isn’t the greatest job in the world. However, we all need to make ends meet. Whenever they need someone to get food, coffee, condoms (which I really hope they use). I am the one who has to go.
This brings me to the point or concern, if you will. I was sent out to get Ice Cream for the crew last week, it was either Wednesday or Thursday, not really sure. Anyway, Lizzy (who is a pre-Madonna in the Adult Film Industry) wanted a couple of blizzards (not one, but a couple). I was sent to your DQ to get them. While I was there I struck up a conversation with a nice chap by the name of Richard Christy. We talked about how cool it was to have a black president and about his buddy Sal being scared to come out of the closet (apparently he is a homo-sexual). To the point, he kept insisting that I try a Misty Misty Freeze or whatever they are called. After telling him, no I’m cool for about three minutes, I told him fine get me one.
Here is where the complaint is. I got in my car and proceeded to drive back to the sleaze fest I call work. I have a million things on my passenger car seat so I had to hold the bag of Blizzards and other DQ treats. One sip from that Misty Misty and all hell broke loose. Brain freeze so bad, my teeth felt like I got punched by Randy Couture and a Dairy Queen bag flipped upside down into my lap. That was the coldest thing I have encountered since my wife left me for my cousin Igor. Out of money and needing to get back to my miserable job, I salvaged one Oreo Cookie blizzard. To make matters worse, she told me that Oreo Cookie Blizzard was her lest favorite one. That miserable ****!
They deducted $15 from my next check and I was called a “Svinja” by some sleaze-ball director from Serbia. If I had a receipt I would have come after work and explained everything to your staff (which was great by the way). However, I got off work and cleaned my car (which took longer than getting Bozo Show tickets).
I have spent thousands of dollars in my lifetime at DQ! I would appreciate some sort of an apology for the extra cold Misty Misty thing. If you need my address:
(here is where my address should be, but I don't trust some of you bastards)
Evaluate the Situation and be Just and Fair,
Mark
I know business must be down with the cold and all. But I happen to enjoy DQ more when it’s 32 degrees Fahrenheit or below. My ancestors come from the Caucus Mountains, maybe that is why. Truth be told, I stop at all and any Dairy Queen whenever I can.
Working as an assistant to a Adult Production company isn’t the greatest job in the world. However, we all need to make ends meet. Whenever they need someone to get food, coffee, condoms (which I really hope they use). I am the one who has to go.
This brings me to the point or concern, if you will. I was sent out to get Ice Cream for the crew last week, it was either Wednesday or Thursday, not really sure. Anyway, Lizzy (who is a pre-Madonna in the Adult Film Industry) wanted a couple of blizzards (not one, but a couple). I was sent to your DQ to get them. While I was there I struck up a conversation with a nice chap by the name of Richard Christy. We talked about how cool it was to have a black president and about his buddy Sal being scared to come out of the closet (apparently he is a homo-sexual). To the point, he kept insisting that I try a Misty Misty Freeze or whatever they are called. After telling him, no I’m cool for about three minutes, I told him fine get me one.
Here is where the complaint is. I got in my car and proceeded to drive back to the sleaze fest I call work. I have a million things on my passenger car seat so I had to hold the bag of Blizzards and other DQ treats. One sip from that Misty Misty and all hell broke loose. Brain freeze so bad, my teeth felt like I got punched by Randy Couture and a Dairy Queen bag flipped upside down into my lap. That was the coldest thing I have encountered since my wife left me for my cousin Igor. Out of money and needing to get back to my miserable job, I salvaged one Oreo Cookie blizzard. To make matters worse, she told me that Oreo Cookie Blizzard was her lest favorite one. That miserable ****!
They deducted $15 from my next check and I was called a “Svinja” by some sleaze-ball director from Serbia. If I had a receipt I would have come after work and explained everything to your staff (which was great by the way). However, I got off work and cleaned my car (which took longer than getting Bozo Show tickets).
I have spent thousands of dollars in my lifetime at DQ! I would appreciate some sort of an apology for the extra cold Misty Misty thing. If you need my address:
(here is where my address should be, but I don't trust some of you bastards)
Evaluate the Situation and be Just and Fair,
Mark
RESPONSE FROM DAIRY QUEEN
Dear Mark,
Thank you for contacting International Dairy Queen, Inc. (IDQ) and bringing your experience to our attention.
After investigation and follow up from the franchise owner, it appears there may have been some inconsistencies in your story. However, I've got to give you credit, yours was absolutely the most interesting comment I have read in a long time and appreciate your effort and creativity. :)
I have sent along $5 in gift certificates in the mail for you to use toward a future purchase on us, please enjoy!
Thank you again for taking the time to share your experience with us.
Best Regards,
Beth
Beth C
Consumer Relations Specialist
International Dairy Queen, Inc
A DQ treat is the best present you could ever give!
Happy Holidays!
(Beth was so great that I decided to send her a follow up email)
Hey Beth,
I appreciate the gift certificates and I really appreciate you listening to my gripes (about working for that evil Serb)! I don't know what inconsistencies there were in my email, but I don't care. Most of all, I am happy that when going through all the evil and nasty costumer complaints you found mine very interesting. I hope it put a smile on your face. Dairy Queen goes above and beyond the expectations of it's customers, and you as part of the staff did just that.
One more question, I think I am going to use the $5 gift certificates that you are sending on a very special someone. Norma (our plus sized star) is always the nicest to me. She is big, black and beautiful. She saw how I got chewed out for messing up the DQ order and came to console me.
I am very shy. Any ideas on how to approach her? She likes to drink vodka, play chess and is into XBOX 360. I hate all three of those things. Your advice would be appreciated.
If you have it, a XXX L shirt (or the biggest you have) for Norma would be great!
I hope this one brings a smile and not annoyance,
Mark
(Beth wrote back, God Bless her)
As a matter of fact, I do have a shirt Mark and I'd be more than happy to send it out along with your gift certificate.
Have a good afternoon.
Regards,
bmc
Beth C
Consumer Relations Specialist
International Dairy Queen, Inc
A DQ treat is the best present you could ever give!
Happy Holidays!
(Finally I received my DQ employees shirt (funny) and my $5 Gift Certificate)
